Ramble: You don't ask, You don't get

Don't you just hate it when life goes haywire and you find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place?

Yup that's me right now.

The trouble with being stuck between that rock and a hard place is that eventually there comes the point where you have to make a choice. Kind of like that guy that had that accident while climbing, you can sit there and die or you can take a chance, chop your own arm off and maybe, just maybe, you'll make it out ok.

Now obviously i'm not in any immediate mortal danger nor am i suggesting that i'll be chopping of any body parts anytime soon but more and more i'm being drawn to the old saying 'you don't ask, you don't get'

As I've got a bit older I've become more of a laid back, go with the flow, if it aint broke why fix it? type of person but sometimes that doesn't get me very far. Opportunities slip past and chances aren't taken and more and more life seems a bit like its just passing me by. And i don't like it.

The other day i decided to make some changes, I strolled into work asked for a meeting with my boss and asked for a promotion. I didn't get it but the point is i asked and now my boss is aware of my wish to progress and has paired me up with someone further on at the company to mentor me to be in a position to get the promotion when it  becomes available.

I asked and although i didn't get what i want immediately i am now in a much better position than just sitting hoping something would happen of its own accord.

Since this happened I've been seeing more and more opportunities popping up around me. Opportunities that have probably been there for a while but I've just not gone after. The most exciting thing about this is that i just pitched an idea that could give me the chance to do something I've wanted to do for a really really long time. If it works out it'll be incredible but if it doesn't work out? Well at least i tried.

As they say, You don't ask, you don't get!!!  ;-)

What are the words you live by?

And so it begins...

Today is a little bit of a difficult day for me.

Its Payday.

Its pathetic I know. Having a payday should be a reason for joy, laughter, merriment.

But this month, which i think is the first month ever, i'm filled with fear.

Last months musings about the state of my finances made me wonder about what im missing out on in life. Don't get me wrong i'm still definitely wanting to achieve those things but this fear im feeling is to do with the fear of not being able to not just run out and buy everything in sight.

The theory of not buying random stuff when you have no money is very easy to deal with, the reality of having money in the bank and trying to persuade yourself you still don't need those things is very different.

I knew this would be hard so I've assigned myself a small budget (£40) for buying a couple of new things so i  thought it'd be easy to start and make a change but there's a whole world of pretty things swirling around and my inner teenager is throwing a proper strop about not being let loose in Primark.

Meanwhile in another world....

So my last post was perhaps slightly heavy in the self indulgent wittering front.......this is about to continue.

Since than I've become a little bit obsessed with the concept that the life i would love to live is not actually that far out of my grasp.

I took stock of my bank account, yes ladies  in the cold harsh light of day i took that big bull, grabbed it by the horns and stared it square in the eye (that's a saying right?)

Horrified doesn't cover it. 

I reckon on average I spend nearly £300 a month on unnecessary rubbish. Part of this spent on paying off previous 'buying stuff' misdemeanors (which obviously needs to be done) and part is caused by getting over excited when there's a deal on in Boots (which, not matter how i justify, does not need to be done).

Now some people will think oh that's not so bad, but others, like myself, will see that number and feel a little bit sick.

Imagine for a moment that money didn't wander off every month. 

I wonder what i could do....*if blogs went fuzzy and into dream mode that would happen here*

If i had £300:

I could get myself 'Trev', my beloved imaginary fiat 500- I could even afford the insurance and filling him with petrol and probably the odd day trip, maybe a jaunt to Ikea or visiting friends that i hardly ever see due to public transport being utter poop.

Mind you i'd also quite fancy a weekend in Rome

or

I could spend a week in Marrakech!

or if i could be bothered to hold off for a whole month £600 would get me

A weekend in NEW YORK!! I could be that annoying person that goes to New York all the time, oh how i want to be that person.

Once i get to 3 months worth (£900) things get crazy that would get me

8 nights in Sri Lanka - Random fact: my Grandmother lived in Sri Lanka when she was a child, i'd LOVE to visit there. 

And in 4 months i'd have enough for a ROUND THE WORLD plane ticket.

All this stuff is pretty travel orientated but there really is a whole world out there and i want to see it. I want to be the granny in the old peoples home with albums and albums full of photos bothering the nurses by retelling the anecdote about how i once stayed awake all night because i could've sworn i saw a scorpion in my tent, though that's already happened, but you get my drift.

What would you do if you had the money?

I promise i'll back to more of the lighter nail polish/beauty/tea posts soon but by golly imagine how cool it would be to incorporate some of the above on here????

The girl that has everything and nothing...

WARNING: Incoherant babbling is about to occur.

Have you ever had a moment in life where everything suddenly became as clear as day.

I've just had one.

A while ago i posted about the whole spending ban phenomenon that seemed to be sweeping the blog community and my slight confusion about the concept and whether or not it was a completely great idea or just a one way ticket to a boring existence.

I wrote my piece and then pay day hit and i went on a mass spending spree, i bought stuff, all very nice stuff that i am happy to have in my life but at the end of the day its just stuff. The money i spent on that stuff could have paid off that pesky credit card that although i never use but still takes up 30 quid of my money every month to chip slowly away at the balance on it which was caused by me buying........ something....i cant quite remember what.

And that's when it hit me. I LOVE STUFF but in a very short space of time i'll forget all about it. A new lip gloss is not going to change my life, I hardly ever wear the stuff but I have 8 of them and really that's not ok.

I'm very lucky to have all the stuff i have. I work hard enough for it, I own my own home, I have more clothes in my wardrobe that i could find occasions to wear, i have more makeup than i could get through in a year, but most months by the time it gets to the 15th i'm working out how to make the £10 quid i have left in the bank feed and entertain me until the 25th (payday). And as much as i like beans with toast (yes 'with') its hardly an inspiring way to live.

I think what i'm finally realising is that when I'm old and grey i wont remember the 10,000 tops i got in Primark but i will remember nights out with my friends, the random weekends in foreign lands and the opportunities that i can jump at because i don't have to worry about stretching my pennies to breaking point.

Now i'm not planning on rushing out to sell all my possessions but i think i might not be adding to them for a good while. If i paid off all the things i have already it would afford my life so much more possibility than i feel i have at the moment and right about now sat in the flat on a cold Sunday night the concept of having 'possibilities' is far far more attractive to me than anything else in the entire world.

So, back to the spending ban idea, i think I've come to the conclusion that, for me, not buying some stuff now would not lead to a boring existence but randomly i think not buying 'stuff' could lead me to a whole new more exciting existence. I don't like the term 'ban' so i think i'll go on a splurge on payday, i'll work out exactly what i want to buy tot up the value........... and promptly pay that amount to my credit card bill.

The practice of this might be more difficult than me sitting here pondering about it, but right now, at this current moment, i really do feel like the girl that has everything and nothing at the same time.